RESOLUTION TIME!!

I can count on one hand the number of years I have NOT made a New Year's Resolution to lose weight, get back on track, pull back into line, start again on January 1. I was given the opportunity time and time again to learn and grow stronger yet I didn't hear or didn't listen to the calling. I swore the problem was what I was eating and the exercise I was or wasn't doing that was the problem. I continually looked outside of myself for the reason I wasn't completely fulfilled and happy. Luckily these days I know that the elusive butterfly of happiness can only be found within me. I've learned that the answer to happiness CANNOT be found in a diet, counting calories or restricting and depriving myself of the pleasure of food. It is not smashing myself with interval training to burn more calories in order shrink my arse and thighs. And it isn't found in a pill, powder, gadget or gizmo. I now realise that no matter what my body shape or size I am perfect, whole, complete and happy just as I am. I sat on the sidelines for too long watching life go by to get the body I wanted only for it to be taken away again soon after. I'm no longer willing to put off life because I have unwanted fat on my body. I'm no longer putting off till tomorrow what I can do today. My arse and thighs are getting smaller no matter what I eat. It was never what I was eating but rather what was eating me. I've dealt with my emotional baggage, embraced my dark side, found my friend, and now I'm ready to live life. My resolution this year is to focus on the things I do want; freedom, spontaneity, quality family time, to become more spiritual so that my real life example can help others, finish writing my book, and to lift the mother fucker deadlift. There's plenty more but this will do for starters.

THE SUMO TOAD XMAS PRESENT

Sumo Toad: Strength, inner calm, protection and honour.

The Sumo Toad stands in the defense position, he is highly disciplined and stands upon a lotus flower, the symbol of purity and spiritual unfolding. The lotus flower represents how we, like the lotus, can transcend our current realities and offer up our lives in the successful pursuit of our highest aspirations. The combination of strength, calmness, purity and self discipline being our greatest skills as human beings to attain wisdom and peace. In pre history Osaka, Japan, (post 8th century) a Monk was sitting in contemplation of a still pond. Slowly he became that pond. He became serene and was able, through this stillness, to hear the silent whisper of all of creation. He shared this knowledge with another Monk, a Nun. As they sat together in powerful silence they spied a Crane protecting her eggs from a viper. The old Monks watched the graceful fluidity of the crane's defense versus the slippery, lightning-fast strikes of the viper. This struggle of nature was an epiphany. The Monks imitated the animals' moves and applied their effectiveness in unarmed combat. After many years on the mountain they brought their fellow Monks the first "Animal Styles" of unarmed combat as well as the art of Meditation and Chí manipulation. This was believed to be the beginning of the Toad Style, throwing sharp and poisonous strikes. In ancient times Toad grease was used as a protective ointment so that no sword could pierce the skin.

On another note Happy 10th Birthday beautiful daughter.

THE LETTUCE THAT RUINED CHRISTMAS!!

Sitting at the bench drinking a glass of wine and talking with eldest son and Mum as she prepares Christmas Eve dinner.

Mum: "Oh shit, I've left the lettuce at home for the salad."

Son: "Good on ya Nan, now you've ruined Christmas." (teenage sarcasm)

Me: "The lettuce that ruined Christmas. A great chapter heading for my book."

Ten times UNDEFEATED boxing champion on the Wii. Yep, that's me. No-one could take me down. Master J (nephew aged 8) told his mother I was a bitch when I beat him. As we left at lunchtime on Christmas Day I told him I loved him and not to call Aunty Shelley a bitch again. I did get the singlet top to prove he was right though (lol).

It was the best Christmas I have had in years yet also the saddest. Finding out that now my Mum has Cancer as does my Dad. I stayed strong on the outside for my Mum but quietly cried on the inside.

With very rainy weather I was able to pull a couple of all nighters only the opposite of what this refers to according to daughter. Like Liz, I managed a couple of 12 hour sleeps which is highly unusual for me and then laid around under the covers, in my pj's, watching The Shadow Effect dvd and reading The Gift of Change by Marianne Williamson I was given for Christmas.

My very special gift from my wonderful husband and children was a basket filled with 10 small packages, each wrapped in calico with a red ribbon and card on the outside reading I Believe In You and when opened revealing an inspirational quote. I am to open 1 each day for the 10 days following Christmas. Each package is filled with a small item to bring a smile to my face, a typed proverb, a single chocolate from Chocolate To Die For, and a note saying I LOVE you for ??? (little things they love about the new me) rolled up and sealed with a gold heart sticker. I am so blessed to share my life with such special people.

Home safe and sound now and getting ready to welcome another fabulous year of fun, love and laughter.

OVER & OUT FOR ANOTHER YEAR!!

As Christmas approaches we are busy hanging our stockings at my sister's house in my home town in NSW after driving the long drive at the beginning of the week with a mid way overnight break at hubby's aunties place. This year we are blessed to be spending the days preceeding Christmas Day with my family and then from lunchtime onwards on Christmas Day with hubby's family 45 minutes away until we return to beautiful Brissy around the 28th. I will be making the most of it and cherishing each moment as if it is my last. Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. Hoping that Santa delivers exactly what you have desired. I know he will be for me.

WONDERING??

I wonder if I will be the very first person you know who has released excess body fat through the power of positive thinking? I wonder if you have ever known someone to get the body of their dreams without dieting, counting calories, deprivation or watching what they eat like a hawk? I wonder if you know that spending less than a year of my life has been more than worth it to be free for the rest of my long life? I wonder if my success and results will inspire you to take a leap of faith yourself and work it out so you too can be free from weight struggles/issues for the rest of your life? I wonder?

ONCE AGAIN!!

In the olden days (I love saying that!) when I set my mind to losing weight it fell off me. During both my comp preps I had to "hold" for a period of time because I was getting too lean too quick. It was commented more than once that I always seemed so positive. Coincidence? I think not. I remember vividly one week "putting my foot down" and doing extra cardio at lunchtime and in the afternoon or evening as well as the usual weights and cardio I was doing in the morning in order to shift some extra lard that week only to be rewarded with a measly 0.2 drop on the scales. If it was simply a case of calories in versus calories out then I should have dropped a shit load that week but I didn't. The extra stress I had placed on my body and mind not to mention the exhaustion had me in a negative balance state of affairs and my body said "fuck you". These days it is my mission to continually be POSITIVE with my emotions and bask in the glorious feelings of Joy, Appreciation, Empowerment, Freedom, Love, Passion, Enthusiasm, Eagerness, Happiness, Positive Expectation and Belief and as I feel all of these wonderful emotions the fat is literally falling off me once again.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK!!

Start spreading the news. I'm leaving today. I want to be a part of it. New York, New York. I can't stop singing. Time Square was the most memorable way to spend New Year's Eve. This famous tradition dates back to 1906. We arrived early in the afternoon the take our position in a viewing section. The NYPD directed all the revelers into each viewing section and although it got quite crowded I didn't seem to notice too much as I was too busy checking out the eye candy in uniforms (lol). With the flip of a giant switch, the New Year’s Eve Ball illuminated and began its ascent accompanied by special pyrotechnic effects atop One Times Square. At 11.59 pm the lighted ball started it's descent into a New Year. The Ball is a geodesic sphere, twelve feet in diameter, weighing 11,875 pounds. The Ball is covered with 2668 Waterford crystal triangles and lit by 32,256 Philips Luxeon Rebel LEDs. At the stroke of Midnight, the lights on the New Year’s Eve Ball were turned off as the numerals of the New Year “2010” burst to life shining high above Times Square. Confetti was released from the rooftops of buildings throughout Times Square creating a celebratory blizzard of colorful confetti as we welcomed the New Year with kisses and a family hug. This is what I call living! Family moments like these are priceless.

FLOATING DOWNSTREAM

I am effortlessly floating downstream. I do not have any paddles in. There is no need to. I am moving with the current, not against it. I feel alive yet at peace. The scenery is most wonderful making the process fun. I am feeling my way. It is amazing, invigorating and exciting. I'm loving and appreciating the contrast of it all. I'm waving with Joy. It's a beautiful thing.

I'M BUGGERED!!

When I lift that from the floor I'm advancing to backflips over cartwheels!!

Rack Pulls - Placed

- 140 kgs x 6 reps

- 150 kgs x 3 reps

High Rack Pulls - Placed

- 150 kgs x 6 reps

- 160 kgs x 6 reps

- 170 kgs x 1 rep

- 180 kgs x 1 rep

- 190 kgs x nuh

A DEFINITION OF SUCCESS!!

Most would attribute success to getting what they want. They think it can only be achieved by giving it everything they have. They believe there are no shortcuts, that it takes hard work and determination. What if success could be the Joy you feel. The dreams and visions and feeling positive as they unfold. Success could then be defined as a happy life, and a happy life is just a string of happy moments. Most people do not allow the happy moments because they are so busy trying to get a happy life.

SHINING THE LIGHT!!

It never ceases to amaze me the effort people go to in decorating their houses for the festive season. It is like these houses have been sprinkled all over with magic dust to become a twinkling fairyland. There are fairy lights hanging on the fences, in the trees, from window to window, and wrapping their boundary in a tinselly glow. Illuminated Santas, reindeers, stars, bells and xmas trees seem to jingle the essence of Joy. It is when December sparkles that I know that Christmas is approaching. As we drive around the streets hunting for the lights there is an overwhelming feeling of contentment as I think of the pride these men and women must feel upon seeing their completed masterpieces with the first flick of the switch to on, and every night thereafter. The hours, months and days they have spent in creating excitement and happiness for others. It is these people who scream “celebrate”, “put on your happy face”, and “the holidays are here”. I feel like a child at heart.

HOW YOU FEEL!!

Abraham tells me "There is nothing I cannot Be, Do or Have". He says there is nothing more important than me feeling good. That when I feel good I am going to find thoughts that feel even better. It's how you feel, how you feel, only how you feel. It's not what you eat, it's how you feel when you eat it. It's not what you say, it's how you feel when you say it. It's not what you do, it's how you feel when you do it. It's not about the food or the exercise. It never was and never will be.

AGREED AND NOT!!

Bench Press

- 60 kgs x 3 reps (forearm partials)

- 60 kgs x 5 reps (rack partials)

- 60 kgs x 10 reps (off pins)

Lat Pulldowns

- 200 pds x 5 reps

- 185 pds x 6 reps

Push Press

- 45 kgs x 4 reps (scary hard)

- 45 kgs x 2 reps

High Tricep Pushdown

- 50 pds x 20 reps

- 50 pds x 13 reps

THE PROCESS!!

Little did I know when I started this journey that there was actually a process one goes through from jumping off the merry-go-round to reaching one’s natural weight. I was unaware that someone who had been there, done that has actually put together a guideline for the progression. I did not see this until I was nearing the end of the wave. It was encouraging to say the least to see the steps I had taken actually down on paper. Remember the angry day? That word c*nt cracks me up every time I hear it. Then there was the rebellion with the fuck diets forever header. Following on was the legalization of all foods, letting go of the false control, and hence the inevitable weight gain. I then found my faith and reclaimed my spiritual Self, something I had not even considered since childhood. There were emotional issues that emerged from childhood with forgiveness and understanding given. At times I became frustrated, overwhelmed and experienced hopelessness. Obsessive thinking about food and weight was reduced, all whilst continuing to practice eating and feeling and the continuation of emotional processing. A transformed relationship had occurred and I am finding acceptance, trust and love within myself resulting in the ultimate – Freedom, and when I will reach my natural weight.

THE "HOW TO"??

I sometimes get stuck, worried and confused with the “how to”. I know I want to get from A to B. I know what A is – I’m there now. I know where B is – I see and feel it every day. But when I think of the bit in the middle it seems just too hard to comprehend. But just like watching a kettle boil, it’ll take forever. I never notice that my finger nails have grown long until it’s time to cut them. I don’t look down and wonder how did they grow, they just did. I don’t question how I’m going to pick up the mother of all fuckers, a 150 kg deadlift, next year. I just know that I will. I didn’t know that I was going to travel the process and journey through stages to get to where I am now. If I had have seen all these progresses in the beginning I would have been overwhelmed. But at just the right moment everything I needed to continue moving forward was presented to me. Therefore, the “how to” is something I need not concern myself with. When I stop to question it I'm putting a foot on my brake. Because I’ve imagined it, I know I can achieve it. I’ve dreamt it, therefore I can become it. If I trust and believe it I'm there in no time flat.

GIVING TIGER A BREAK!!

Whilst I don't really know about all the drama that is unfolding about Tiger Woods playing up on his wife I kind of feel for him. I feel that he has fallen prey to the same psychological storm that so many of us encounter at least once in our lives. For emotional eaters it comes more often. The storm is when that dormant seed of self-hatred, self-loathing, or low self-esteem that lies within us awakens to destroy the good life we have created for ourselves. And it seems to happen to the best of us, even Tiger Woods.

How we feel about ourselves always shows up, in one form or another. Either in the partners we choose, the jobs we take (or lose), the income we settle for, the weight we pack on, the financial chaos we create…and, if you get all of the others right, then the sexual transgressions we get involved (and caught) in.

I don't believe it's about the sex. What is it that Tiger is looking for? My guess - a feeling. It's always a feeling that we are looking for. I hope he uncovers what his self-defeating behaviour is about and finds that feeling closer to home.

Final word: I do NOT condone infidelity/adultery. If my husband cheated on me I'd cut his dick off. I'm just saying has anyone thought that there might be more to it than tits and arse??

THE PENDULUM HAS STOPPED SWINGING!!

Hey there gorgeous

So nice to hear from you. Sorry I haven’t been in touch lately. As you know I’ve been “pre-occupied”.

So sorry to hear that your Nan is not well. I hope when you read this that she is still with you. I want to say to you that when she does leave please know that this was her wish. She felt complete and had done what she came here to do. She was happy and fulfilled. Grieve for your loss but do not grieve for her death. Her physical body may no longer be with you but her Spirit will ALWAYS as Souls are eternal. She would want you to know that she will be watching over you and by your side forever. I hope you find comfort in these words when you need them.

Me, what to say? As incomprehensible as this may seem I am the biggest I have ever been (aside from pregnancy) yet I am the happiest (most of the time). I do still occasionally have down days but they are few and far between and I can usually get myself out within a day, two tops. The pendulum has stopped swinging. My mind is in the middle but my body is on the right hand side. It’s only a matter of time before it re-aligns in the middle again. My intention has been set. I have asked and I have received. I just haven’t allowed it yet. I will have “the body” by Easter 2010. It’s a sure thing! I have experienced so much Joy in the past couple of months. They have well and truly made up for the past couple of years. Fun has been my middle name of late. Just this past weekend Dave had a work do down at Peppers Resort at Kingscliff. The wives were invited and treated to a spa treatment at The Golden Door Spa. We had a beautiful dinner, the company was great, and the highlight of the night was me on the dance floor at the pub with a live band playing. T’was just like old times. Wish you were there bustin’ out the moves with me. Only difference was I didn’t show what a fabulous singer I am (lol). I let someone else take the spotlight. We had the bestest time.

Now, your friend. Yes, by all means give her my blog link. And I’d love to meet her. From what you’ve said if she keeps up her current regime she’ll burn out and crash before too long and she’ll end up a looney like I did. But, in saying that, she has to be ready to let go and accept and believe. It has to be her time to listen and hear. Only she knows if she can do that. But I will help in whatever way I can.

Can’t wait to see you at Xmas time. Got some very, very exciting news to tell you. And no, it’s not that. Dave’s had the snip remember. Unless you class creaming ones legs for deadlifting baby-making (hehehe). Mind you there’s been plenty of practice going on. I have a constant smile on my face (lol).

Anyway, best get this sweaty body (been out for an amazing run this morning) into the shower. Dave and I are Christmas shopping today whilst MIL is here. Tra la la, tra la la, lah, lah, lah.

Love Shelley

b105 CHRISTMAS APPEAL!!

There are so many worthwhile charities, drives and appeals doing such great work but there's always a few that ring true to your heart and touch you deeply. The b105 Christmas Appeal is one of those for me. I have been brought to tears listening to the heartwarming stories of children unwell and suffering with their families. I cannot imagine what it would be like to live with the child you have brought into the world being so sick. It certainly makes "a little bit of extra fat on my arse" a fucking joke. If we all donated just $1 it would make a HUGE difference. Your dollar can help to fund groundbreaking research and medical equipment. This year your donations will go further than ever. The Golden Caskett is donating $2 for every $1 that you donate. So, please give generously and make a donation.

JUST ONE MORE!!

I'm not quite there yet but so very close. So close I can smell and taste the sweetness of success. There's just one more to be added to the masterpiece that is my body. The word "Freedom" to be tattooed on the inside of my right wrist. It will be symbolistic just as all my other tattoos are. It will indicate freedom from my past, freedom for the future, freedom in the present moment, the here and now. And freedom for all. It will be at this point that I will know I am free forever!

TRAINING WITH THE SPUNK!!

It's my blog and I can write what I like. Shortless and lubeless.

Rack Pulls - Placed
- 130 kgs x 6 reps
- 140 kgs x 6 reps
- 150 kgs x 2.45 reps

High Rack Pulls - Placed
- 150 kgs x 4 reps
- 160 kgs x 2 reps

Lying Leg Curls
- 50 pds x 30 reps
- 60 pds x 20 reps
- 70 pds x 10 reps

Single Leg Press
- 140 kgs x 12 reps
- 160 kgs x 12 reps
- 180 kgs x 10 reps

DANCING WITH LIFE!!

There's a fire in my belly, igniting my passions and desires and giving me the inner strength and courage to pursue my dreams. I am becoming more aware of everything within me and around me. I am listening to my instinctive mind, my perceptive, intuitive mind, and gradually I am learning to listen to the wisdom which comes from being in the presence of my Divine Self. My life is much cleaner and less cluttered and my confidence grows stronger and stronger each day. Sometimes I am filled so completely with love, light and laughter I feel like my heart is going to explode out through my chest. My very own creative spark is revealing itself. It has been patiently resting until now, until I was ready. We all possess this force to be reckoned with and express it in many ways. It is through this dance with life one discovers her true Self.

FROM SOMETHING TO NOTHING!!

In the same way that we leave time between a delicious main course and dessert, allowing ourselves time and space to digest all that happens within us and around us is an important practice. Just like exercise, Nothing is a practice, a discipline in itself. We spend so much of every day, of our lives, running around like blue arsed flies, distracting ourselves with things to do, places to go, and people to see we can go for days, even months and years without truly connecting to ourselves. And why? Do we associate our self worth with our achievements and successes. If we do nothing we consider ourselves lazy. Nothingness delivers a clarity about our existence. It supports us in choosing what we do and don't desire. It gives us the chance to get to know ourselves intimately. And can create something beautiful out of nothing at all. It can make our hearts sing and ground us to every moment.

INSIGHTS!!

There's a book to be written, manuscripts being created. I must recall my insights and discoveries. What are they? What have I learnt? It is somewhat overwhelming thinking of the "how to" in order to create the outcome and I start to question my ability. But just like my journey to my natural weight I remember to dismiss the outcome and concentrate on the Here and Now and the how to will be taken care of and just happen. At first I struggle to remember them but as pen starts to hit paper, like a snowball effect, one by one they come flooding back filling me with excitement as I recall the progress each one delivered. I list them in point form. And then how do I expand on these and express, what I now know, to others in a way that will inspire them to live their dream, find their authentic Self, love life as much as I do, and Be Happier than they ever thought possible? Being the change you wish to see in the world seems so much easier than writing it. But then nothing worth doing is easy. Unless, of course, we believe it to be so.

SEEING & FEELING!!

I needed to see what a 150 kg deadlift looks like. I needed to feel it. And now I need to believe it. This mother of all fuckers is in my vision and I'm gonna pick it up next year.

Bench Press

- 53 kgs x 5 reps

- 55 kgs x 5 reps (forearm partials)

Lat Pulldown

- 185 pds x 9 reps

- 185 pds x 6 reps + 2

Push Press

43 kgs x 3 reps, miss 4

43 kgs x 4 reps + 1

Floor Press

- 40 kgs x 5 reps + 1

- 40 kgs x 3 reps + 1

CHRISTMAS MAGIC IN QUEBEC CITY!!

If someone had a crystal ball a few years ago I would not have believed that I could be where I am today, embarking on the most amazing journey and benefiting physically, emotionally and spiritually. Thinking about how far I have come I become overwhelmed as I reflect on my journey. Perhaps adding to my feelings is the magic of Christmas. Quebec City is the perfect place to celebrate Christmas: snow that covers the city in a winter blanket of white, nativity scenes, carols in the streets, midnight mass, trees hung with multi-coloured lights. It's just like the tales in the books I was read in my childhood. Christmas here means home cooking, using recipes passed on from generation to generation. Indulgence in all the wonderful treats is a delight. But no matter where I am in the world I know that the Joy of Christmas is Me.

THE SHADOW PROCESS!!

A MATTER OF PERCEPTION!!

Life is a matter of perception. What we perceive influences our happiness greatly. Approaching life with energy, enthusiasm and excitement brings boundless opportunities and wonderful adventures. How we judge or think about something is a matter of perception. What we perceive to be of value to our lives is our perception the worth of that something will bring. When we place too much importance on something, it can change what we perceive to be of value. We place far too much importance on things when in reality, we just want it because we think it will make us happy.

A TRANSFORMATION!!

I have personally experienced the change of consciousness, a transformation. I have become one with Spirit. From within is where that journey towards Spirit starts. Through observation and focus I have watched my energy slowly awaken, the lights turning on ever so gradually. By personal experience I have come to know Spirit is one's own truth. I have emerged like the butterfly from her cocoon, now experiencing a deep appreciation for the sacredness of life and love. I have discovered my true Self - my purpose, my fulfilment, my happiness. No one or no thing can take this away from me.

I'M NOT A QUITTER & I'LL NEVER GIVE UP!!

I couldn't pick the fucker up today. Am I upset about this? - Nope. Because I knew it!! I THOUGHT last week "next week I won't get it off the ground". I created my reality today. I can lift 130 kg's. I've done it before - tired, so fresh I should have lifted it straight up but this has just reinforced the power of my mind and thought. Yesterday was filled with doubts, what if's and tears. I will not entertain these thoughts or feelings any more. KatieP assisted my rescue with this:

"I bet Roger had his doubts too when he ran and ran and still couldn't break the 4 mins. But he did it, and you can do it too. If people can get better from cancer, you can heal a few fat cells." Gotta love a friend who can make you laugh in any situation.

Deadlifts & Rack Pulls
- 130 kgs x Gong

Leg Extensions SS with
- 10 kgs x 50 reps
- 15 kgs x 40 reps
- 20 kgs x 35 reps

Lying Leg Curls
- 40 pds x 30 reps
- 40 pds x 25 reps
- 40 pds x 25 reps

Single Leg Press
- 120 kgs x 20 reps
- 140 kgs x 15 reps
- 160 kgs x 10 reps

On this day 43 years ago a baby was born. This baby grew up into the most wonderful man on this earth. He is my husband. 37 years later, 6 years ago this man had his very own son, my second son. Born on exactly the same day, 8 days past my due date and therefore share the same birth date. Happy Birthday to two of my favourite boys.

MORNING DISCIPLINE!!

Each night before I lay my head down to sleep I set my alarm although it is rarely needed. My body wakes of it's own accord by it's rhythmical body clock. After some basic hygiene I start my day with vital greens and a cup of green tea. A short while later I head out the door. I have not planned what I will do or where I will go. I allow my feet to guide me and take me in the direction that is my path today. In sequence my legs move; left, right, left, right. Sometimes the pace is a mere brisk walk and at other times they desire a bit more and I run. I have headphones in my ears with the latest tunes but often I turn them off and listen to my breath. I imagine with each breath in the white healing mist entering my lungs and repairing any damage I may have done through my years of neglect from smoking. I visualise my heart growing stronger with each beat. I hear the birds chirping. The rainbird informing me rain is approaching. Cicadas speaking their language to each other. I see trees gently swaying in the breeze and I smell the beautiful scent emitted from the frangipani's as I pass by. I notice things I dare not have noticed before for fear that this distraction may inhibit my efforts to lose weight and I dare not shift my focus to nature and all of the wonderful surroundings. But that was then and this is now. I am constantly amazed at the beauty and uniqueness of all things - great and small. The difference in species, the change in weather from day to day, the miraculousness of our world. I have come to realise from those moments, calories burned, heart rate and VO2 max mean absolutely nothing. Happiness and love of life are all that matter. In the end, they’re all that will ever matter.

AU REVOIR CHICKEN ARMS!!

I am constantly changing and evolving. I will never have the body I once had. I have what I have now being a different version of what I have had previously so what I will have in the future will be different than what I have now. I will have whatever I create. It is not by chance or coincidence that I have come to realise my love of lifting really heavy shit. It is ok to desire "the body" but I understand that I don't need the body to be happy. I don't need anything external to have happiness. I already have everything inside me. It is called love. Love for myself and love for others. I live love and happiness. Everything else is "that ain't livin' Barry".

Au Revoir chicken arms.

YOUR TOOLBOX!!

Intuitive Eating/Mindful Eating/Inner Wisdom Eating is just one tool in the toolbox of "Happiness". This tool alone will not complete the set. You'll need to work with all the other tools equally as often before you become competent with the use of each one. As you do so with each one you can place it into your box. If you only work with the IE/ME/IWE tool other parts of your life will remain broken and in need of repair. Before you know it you're toolbox will be full and ready for whatever task life throws your way. You will BE the Master, the Bob, of your toolbox.

NOT THE NORM!!

Monday's Lift Heavy Shit Session

Bench Press

- 50 kgs x 8 reps

- 50 kgs x 6 reps + 2 short

Lat Pulldowns

- 170 pds x 15 reps (getting short)

- 170 pds x 12 reps (getting short)

Push Press

- 38 kgs x 9 reps

- 40 kgs x 5 reps, miss 6

Floor Press

- 38 kgs x 4 reps + 4 hip humps

- 38 kgs x 7 reps + 3 hip humps

THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE!!

When we are confused about who we are we become obsessed with food and weight and diets because we are afraid of ourselves. We avoid our negative feelings. We love the feeling of controlling our lives with a plan for what we eat, when we eat, how much (or how little) we eat, when and how we train because it takes away the emptiness, the hollow, the hole inside. We pre-occupy ourselves with all of this to fill the void. We feel better about ourselves because we've achieved a certain weight, a certain look through following a certain diet or a certain plan.

Weight doesn't need to be controlled or managed or constantly watched. It doesn't have to be a never ending battle or struggle. It is the belief system driving this thinking. And beliefs can be changed.

If only we'd realise there's so much more to life.

MARKET DAY!!

Today is Sunday, market day. Organic food markets right here in Brisbane. I had not planned to go but the lure of my beloved organic cranberries is too strong to pass up. I have come to love these little beauties which are imported from Canada. Their sweetness is quite extraordinary. Added to oats and cooked apple they have become a daily love affair. Nicole has inspired me to get back on my pushie. I blow off the dust and clear the cobwebs and set off, backpack strapped on. It has been a long while since I rode a bike but it is like yesterday. Once learnt, never forgotten. As I pass the morning walkers I greet them with a warm smile and simple, yet effective "morning" and am replied with the same gesture of kindness. Ascending my first hill my quads scream at me, begging for me to stand up and I reward them for their efforts by doing so half way up. When I finally reach the top I am puffing like "the magic dragon" and grateful that the land is now flat for a good while. It is a muggy morning but I hardly notice breaking through the breeze. Once at the markets I lean my bike against a tree and set off on foot exploring each stall for what might spark my interest today. I kick myself that the shopping was done at the supermarket only yesterday. The smell of fresh fruit and veges sends my taste buds salivating. I buy my cranberries and am given a discount. I'll take it as one "miracle" today. My only other purchase is a raw food cake which I will save for dessert tonight and share with hubby. Made from 100% raw plant foods I'm sure it will be delightful, delectable. Time to trundle home. The rest of my family may be up by now. As a ride along a flock of pigeons fly beside me for a good 100 metres before landing on a power cable. I hope they don't shit as I ride under. I'm home and the only one up is little boy. My clothes are soaked in sweat and my face red like my cranberries. I take his hand and lead him down to the pool. Standing on the edge we both call out "canon bomb" before jumping in. I am instantly cooled and refreshed. Another brilliant day has begun.

R U OK?

R U OK is being held today, 29 November 2009. It is an annual national day of action that aims to get Australians, right across the entire spectrum of society, connecting with friends and loved ones, by reaching out to anyone doing it tough and simply asking: “Are you ok?”

Hello, my friends, hello

Are you ok? I've got time to talk.

IT'S WHAT YOU BELIEVE!!

What you believe is what creates your behaviour. If you believe that chocolate or lollies will send you into a sugar spin than that will be the case. If you believe your belly will bloat up from bread or your guts will gurgle from artificial sweeteners than that too will happen. If you believe you'll get fat from eating fat then hello cellulite. Therefore, it is at the level of belief, not at the level of behaviour, that needs modification. Where does your belief come from about the particular food? Was it an incident from your childhood that you have attached the association of that particular food to? Think long and hard, but if it doesn't come to you immediately, leave it because it will come to you soon if that is what you choose. And then when it does realise it and reverse it. Then put that particular food everywhere in your vision - your handbag, the car, the benchtop, the pantry, the fridge. See it often. Realise that you can eat it whenever you want. Understand that it will not hurt you. You must be willing to be uncomfortable, for a little while at least, to create a life that is comfortable where no food is good or bad, no food is off limits, no food will have an effect on you. At the end of your comfort zone, is where life truly begins. And always remember, it's just food for fucks' sake.

AND AWESOME I WAS/AM!!

I LOOVVEE lifting SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!

Thursday's Lift Heavy Shit Session

Full Deadlifts
- 120 kgs x 8 reps
- 130 kgs x 1 rep

Single Leg Press
- 100 kgs x 20 reps
- 120 kgs x 20 reps
- 140 kgs x 20 reps

AIN'T LIFE GRAND!!

This photo taken from my home recently

Today I cried. Though they were not tears of sorrow but rather tears of joy. A proud moment in time of the realisation of just how far I've travelled. From a troubled soul with a bottle of sleeping tablets in her hand just a few short months ago wondering how many it'd take and longing for the pain to end to who I am now - ME. One who wakes every morning reflecting on how amazing life is. Wondering what miracle will be presented today. Who's life will be touched. What adventure will take place. Which of my successes will be brought forth.

Life truly is Grand.

I DREAM!!

I dream of giving women the gift of freedom that lets them wake up feeling comfortable in their own skin and beautiful in their bodies, whilst creating healthy habits and strengthening their bodies for a long, happy life ahead of them. I know that when they become acutely aware that they are living this dream, they will feel deeply fulfilled.

I want them to take deep breaths and fill their lungs all the way to their stomachs with life giving oxygen. To indulge with a presence of mind that enjoys what they are feeding their bodies without the feeling of guilt. To love shamelessly and celebrate vigorously. And to celebrate gratitude for all the many blessings they have in their lives.

SENDING YOU AN ANGEL!!

Hi Shelley

How are you and your family? Ok...here is the drill. My baby is now 1 and I am still FAT! I keep trying and failing to lose weight. I lose some and then gain it again. I have no discipline for longer than a couple of weeks! It is basically the same story as last time. I keep putting kids, husband and work before me so leave no time for me or more correctly, I am not a priority. I was wondering if you could mark my journal for me? I still have your program and would really like to start at the start again. (I have done this numerous times in the past 12 months) but I feel like I keep failing cause I slip into bad habits as soon as I become stressed (which seems to happen every couple of days with work and 3 kids). I really think I would stick to it if I knew you were going to check my diary. If you are able to do this for me, just work out a price and I will get it to you.

I really hope you have the time to save me again! I really felt amazing last time and it only lasted for such a short time. I still remember the feeling of finding out I was pregnant! It really devastated me! But I am so lucky to have her now and I really need to move on with it. I have put my life on hold to some extent the past year as I say "no" to many things as I feel I am too fat to do that. I would really like to have the confidence to go to parties again, go to the gym (I am too fat to go there!), go to the pool and beach and wear swimmers and run around with the kids without feeling like I am wobbling every where!

Hope you can help me.

SENDING YOU AN ANGEL SWEETHEART!

TRAINING TODAY!!

Too busy to think of a fun title.

Bench Press

- 45 kgs x 8 reps

- 45 kgs x 8 reps

Lat Pulldown

- 155 pds x 17 reps (getting short)

- 170 pds x 10 reps

Push Press

- 30 kgs x 16 reps

- 33 kgs x 17 reps

Floor Press

- 35 kgs x 10 reps

- 35 kgs x 9 reps + 1

BEing THAT PERSON!!

Who is that person? What does she look like? How does she act? What does she think and feel?

She is so much more than her body alone. She is a kind-hearted, caring soul with good intentions here to help those who want to be helped. She is lean and strong. She is confident, vibrant, bubbly, exciting, buzzing, an extrovert, laughing, happy, smiling, singing and dancing always. She doesn't think about food or what to eat or when to eat but plays each day out as it is presented. Minute by minute, hour by hour. She eats whatever she wants and never gains any weight. She trains hard by lifting heavy shit only a few days each week leaving other days to explore art galleries and museums, and walk around the city, and sit in a library for hours, and wags her kids from school and takes them to the beach or to a fun park or whereever on the spur of the moment. She shows love to her husband like no woman has ever loved her husband more. She spends time BEing with herself by walking or running each morning if the mood dictates. She has exquisite taste for the finer things in life and the simple things like watching the leaves rustle in the wind. She is grateful for all that has been and all that will be but more importantly she is appreciative of What Is Now. She uses meditation and prayer to alter energy vibration. She does not entertain negative thoughts. And she uses her intuitive and psychic abilities to go deep within and get in touch with her feelings. She is satisfied with nothing less than lightness.

That person is ME. This is the greatest vision of Who I Really Am. My body may or may not transform. I believe it will but I can't let my life slip by whilst I wait for it to catch up. I'm moving on and BEing that person NOW!!

OPTIMIST'S CREED!!

The Optimist's Creed by Christian D Larson

EXCITING NEWS!!

Just a quick email to say:

Guess what??

My publisher just called and told me my book has become a BESTSELLER. Woo Hoo!! I am achieving what I set out to do in "helping others find happiness."

Gotta dash now off to cooking school. We’re de-boning a duck for dinner. Move over Julia, Mademoiselle Sofie is in da house!

Love to all

Au revoir
Shelley

THE SECRET TO YOU!!

A REALLY HONEST SET!!

Matt's deadlift analogy for a really honest set. He likened it to a car running out of petrol. It takes maximum force to generate movement of the car to get it to roll. But then someone puts their foot on the brake and again maximum force is required to facilitate more movement. Each rep today was just like that. There was no bouncing, no catching, only stopping and starting each time - a really honest set.

Full Deadlifts
- 110 kgs x 15 reps
- 120 kgs x 4 reps

Rack Pulls (on platform)
- 100 kgs x 6 reps
- 110 kgs x 6 reps
- 120 kgs x 6 reps

Single Incline Leg Press
- 80 kgs x 20 reps
- 100 kgs x 20 reps
- 120 kgs x 20 reps

THE DOOR!!

At times I feel like I am all alone, with no-one on my side, although I know that this is not true for I am never alone. It's so hard to explain what I am doing to others. And when I do I know they don't believe in what I say and therefore what I am doing and trying to achieve. They look at me like I'm a fucking fruit loop, somewhat dillusional, off with the fairies. And I know, I once would have thought this myself. It's a long process, not overnight magic like I wish. I ask God "When is the outside going to reflect the inside?" I have nowhere to go but forward. This is the direction I have chosen. I can't go over it, can't go under it, can't go around it. The only way there is through it. I know where I've been and I've fought my way through thus far closing many doors behind me. The only door now which will take me where I want to go is the door marked "Self-Belief". I have approached this door many times before. It is familiar to me. Only this time I will knock politely and enter. It does not matter what others think, it only matters what I think and I know deep down inside it is my heart and soul that will unlock that door, where eveything I have ever wanted will be waiting for me, and close it gently behind me.

Les grandes pensées viennent du coeur

As I sit here with a warm cuppa I have come to understand that making time and taking time is a pleasure to be enjoyed, not a nuisance to endure. Falling in love with my Self again has changed my life as I knew it, and has opened the door to another life. My dream has come true. We have a magnificent view down rue Ledru-Rollin and a garden on the balcony that wraps the house in serenity and calm. I wake of a morning to the delicious aroma of fresh croissants wafting through the morning air from the boulangerie a few steps away from our house. I stroll down the street with a basket on my arm heading for the market. This is part of the pleasure of living in France: the wonderful produce found at the market from fruit and vegetables to fish and livestock. There is also a beautiful flower stall which I buy a fresh bunch of flowers each week to be placed in the middle of our dining table. There are many “Bonjour Shelley” received as I have come to befriend the locals. Every day here is la petite adventure in my une plus grande aventure called Life.

Les grandes pensées viennent du coeur translated: The greatest thoughts come from the heart.

Vauvenargues

LIFE IN THE COTSWOLDS

The English countryside is breathtakingly beautiful, somewhat hypnotic and gentle. The serenity of the meandering streams encompasses my learnings to just trust life. It is here, beside the picture-postcard rivers that my meditation each morning takes place. I have now, more than ever, come to appreciate the timeless beauty of what Is is what is supposed to Be. Quiet, leafy lanes lead to the flat topped, rolling limestone hills offering far reaching views to the vales beyond. They free my mind and let my spirit wander – freely. The feeling of peace is palpable. There’s a real sense of community here in the picturesque village. The friendly folks at the farmers market, which we frequent regularly to buy our meat, poultry, fruit, veges and free range eggs, are a highlight to our days as is the pint of beer accompanying the bangers, mash and gravy. To the pub we are but a short walk from the honey-coloured stone cottage which we now call home. It has its own unique character giving the impression that time really has stood still here. Another being in the moment moment.

TAKING MY BRAVERY MEDAL!!

I've been working soooooooo hard on all of THIS that I've turned it into another competition. A competition of "When?". When am I gonna get the body I dream of? I've been putting up with what I have, a bit like surviving the hunger and exhaustion of a diet, in order to reach the end (standing on stage). But I can't do it anymore and no longer want to. The past weekend has been just as exhausting mentally and I realised that just recently I haven't been stopping to smell the beautiful scent emitted from the roses again. I've succumbed to the focus of getting what I want and no-one or nothing will stop me. It's obvious to me now that I still haven't found the acceptance and love of my body as it is in it's current state. I need to let go, give up the fight. I have no doubt whatsoever that this is not my natural weight. My body is not naturally designed to carry this much body fat. But concentrating and planning on it will only block it and while I'm watching it seems it'll never arrive. I will still hope and believe and dream and pray as this is the formula for all of life but I need to move on, again, for I am so much more than my body alone. With persistence, even the snail made it onto the Ark. My body the snail, my heart and soul the Ark.

There's been a whirlwind of uncomfortable feelings and thoughts that I don't like but someone beautiful told me a couple of days ago that "It's ok to be sad sometimes. That we often chase an elusive state of deep happiness all the time. We're not designed to be happy all the time and being sad sometimes creates important reflection time. We just need to learn how to use those times and how to manage our minds and bodies to keep a balance overall." To this beautiful soul - thank you! But you know the strange thing here? I now know all of this "stuff". I know they are just feelings. I know I don't have to fight them. I know to just accept them. I know it's ok to feel scared and uncertain. And I know that it's ok if I want to eat to numb the pain. But what do you do when you can't even fucking binge anymore? Imagine that, a binge being impossible. Unbelievable yet true. I just can't do it just as I can't smoke or drink to get drunk on purpose anymore. So, instead I just have a really really good cry.

Wasted energy again. I could have used this energy in a more productive way - like shagging all weekend - oh hang on I did that, well maybe shagging some more, or playing with my kids in the park, or clothes shopping, or going to the movies, anything other than wasting another precious second consumed by shit. So, once again I'll take my reeeeeally shiny and pretty bravery medal (thanks Kek) and say "fuck it".