Thursday, November 19, 2009


At times I feel like I am all alone, with no-one on my side, although I know that this is not true for I am never alone. It's so hard to explain what I am doing to others. And when I do I know they don't believe in what I say and therefore what I am doing and trying to achieve. They look at me like I'm a fucking fruit loop, somewhat dillusional, off with the fairies. And I know, I once would have thought this myself. It's a long process, not overnight magic like I wish. I ask God "When is the outside going to reflect the inside?" I have nowhere to go but forward. This is the direction I have chosen. I can't go over it, can't go under it, can't go around it. The only way there is through it. I know where I've been and I've fought my way through thus far closing many doors behind me. The only door now which will take me where I want to go is the door marked "Self-Belief". I have approached this door many times before. It is familiar to me. Only this time I will knock politely and enter. It does not matter what others think, it only matters what I think and I know deep down inside it is my heart and soul that will unlock that door, where eveything I have ever wanted will be waiting for me, and close it gently behind me.