Tuesday, November 10, 2009


This year thankfully there'll be no pulling my finger out. No getting back on track. No having to lose 6 kilos in the next six weeks. There'll be just doing as I have been - living and loving me and my life. I'll get up most mornings and go for a walk smelling the fresh, crisp air as I leave the house. I'll notice the dew on the grass and my footprints with each step I take. I'll see the sun flickering glimmers of light on the creek, I'll say "morning" or smile at every person I pass. I'll lift some heavy shit with Matt or Liz, and go about each and every day with intent and purpose glancing often as I pass by a mirror to admire my reflection. I'll accept every invitation to Christmas parties we are able to attend. I'll look forward to eating some quality restaurant food. I'll eat to the point of satisfaction and then I'll stop. I'll have a couple of glasses of wine and maybe a couple of vodies if I feel like it. If I don't I won't. I might have dessert, I might not. I'll be sociable, engage in conversation and enjoy listening to others and what they have to say. I'll laugh and have fun and might even have a boogie too. I'll go home and fall into bed exhausted from all the laughing and my feet will be aching from dancing in heels. I'll have a wonderful nights sleep and instead of waking up in the morning and going for a run I'll stay in bed for some morning glory. I'll get up and shower and give myself a smile in the mirror while I wait for the water to heat up before stepping in. Then I'll eat my normal breakfast and continue to eat normal for the rest of the day. I'll go with my husband and children looking at and appreciating all the effort others have gone to decorating their houses with xmas lights. I'll sing "Hi-5" Christmas songs with my kids as we drive around continually being "wowed". I'll smile when the kids yell out "Merry Christmas" to others as we pass them in the street. And when we get home and put the kids to bed I'll tell them "I love you". Then I'll go and sit on Santa's lap and tell him "I love you" too. I'll go to Church with my Mum this year, the first time in a very long time. I’ll wake up on Christmas morning and thank God for my wonderful life. I'll feel just as I have every other day leading up to this one - joyful and happy. I'll be excited and at ease when I open my box of Lindor Balls knowing that they'll last more than 1 day. I'll get emotional watching the joy on my children's faces as they open their presents from Santa and I'll cry when I read the card from my husband that says "I'm so proud of you" because this year I'll be proud of myself too for the right reasons. I'll enjoy the sharing of all meals with our families eating only the foods I feel like and again listening to my body and stopping when it tells me I've had enough. I'll lead the "cheers" by holding up a glass of my favourite verdehlo and saying "here's to a Christmas full of love, fun and laughter with family" whilst wearing my paper xmas hat that has come from a cracker. When dinner time comes I won't eat if I'm not hungry or I might decide to have just a little knowing that it is ok. I'll have a few vodies and sing xmas carols whilst whipping everyone in a card game and laughing like a hyena. And then I'll fall into bed thinking that it was the best Christmas Day ever.