Friday, June 26, 2009


Valley Girl left a comment the other day asking "Do I ever have down days?" You know what? The past few days haven't been very pleasant for me at all and ones I would not like to repeat and although I may appear on the surface to always be positive - yes I do have not so good days sometimes. I thought about not posting this but wanted to keep a record for myself and also to let others know that you can get through these bumps in the road, that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that you can turn a blue day or three into a bright red one if you choose to make it happen.

Negative and unhelpful thoughts had been invading me and my personal space and as the scales were heading downwards I was eating more than I would like to choose to so the cycle could begin again. So, Wednesday afternoon I freed myself from this negative behaviour based on scale weight by smashing them, breaking them and throwing them in the bin and now feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't need the scales to determine whether I look how I want. I can see each morning by looking in the mirror at my abs and legs and trying on my jeans. Don't get me wrong. Scales can be an important tool but now my focus is on maintenance, not losing, and being the leanness I am I'm able to determine my course of action visually with my eyes and internally with my feelings.

I had to question my beliefs about myself. Can I do this? Am I worthy of it? What is perfect? And now each day I will challenge those core beliefs until they are integrated as an appropriate, helpful and balanced new core belief.

Yesterday, I did exactly that - a million times over. I thought about what the scales would be saying and had to remind myself that the number is not important anymore. What is more important to me is that I've checked off my list with ticks - trained or rested, supplements, ate well and mindfully, felt calm and in control.

I will remember that each new day is exactly that, a new day. A new opportunity to live the life I want. It doesn't require strength to let go of old beliefs and thoughts. All it requires is awareness and understanding.