SAY WOT SQUAT??

My Lift Heavy Shit Training got changed today unbeknownst to me so to say I wasn't prepared for it is an understatement although I did really really enjoy it, in some sick kind of way. Today was the introduction, warm-up and finding some starting weights so next week will surely be puke/pee worthy.

Fixed Rep Barbell Squats
- 45 kgs x 50 reps (4 sets to get done - 15, 15, 10, 10)

DB Bench Press
- 15 kgs x 19 reps + 1
- 17.5 kgs x 13 reps

Seated Military Barbell Press
- 35 kgs x 17 reps (fail)
- 38 kgs x 17 reps (fail)

DB Seated Bicep Curls
- 10 kgs x 20 reps (cheating left arm)
- 10 kgs x 20 reps (alternating - still cheating)

JUST BECAUSE!!

I have the time today and want to feel beautiful and special I've de-haired my entire body, cut and filed my nails, cleaned all of my jewellery, shampood, conditioned and treated my hair and now about to top it off with a tan by the pool and a tall, long, icy cold soda and lime minus the vodka. Arhhh this is the life!

STRONG BITCH SCOFF!!

This is why I don't feel like I'm on a "diet". God, I depise that word. I'm merely eating lots of good wholesome, nutritious food fueling my body with energy and flooding it with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, etc.

Last nights dinner. I couldn't resist taking a photo it looked so god damn good and tasted even better.

FULLY PACKED!!

I'd better be buildin' me some solid emu eggs in the arse region!!

Thursday - shave legs day as you know Matt's going to be creamin' your legs (lol).

I did it!! I picked that fucker right up today AND slightly pissed my pants (eww). Luckily I was prepared with a pad (phew). When there's that much pressure I'm glad it was only a pee! Rack Deady's - warmed up with 120 kg's then 130 kg's then picked up 140 kg - twice. My bum died in the 320 kg leg press when I was going deep my glutes said fuck off. And I was shagged in the leg curls.

All going well on the ciggie front. I've hardly thought about it. Did I use to be a smoker? I wouldn't even know. Early days yet though so no cockyness.

Eats brilliant and on track. Being intuitive and mindful even though I've a plan to follow.

Feeling? On top of the friggin' world. Like a strong bitch. Gonna smash this fat right off my body. Freaky positive today.

Lower Body Heavy Shit Training

Rack Deadlifts
- 120 kgs x 2 reps (warm-up)
- 130 kgs x 4 reps (warm-up)
- 140 kgs x 1 rep
- 140 kgs x 1 rep

Next week I'm back to the floor - uh oh!

Incline Leg Press
- 280 kgs x 20 reps
- 300 kgs x 12 reps
- 320 kgs x 2 deep reps + 4 kill Matt dead bum reps

Lying Leg Curl
- 80 pds x 6 short reps + 2 super short reps
- 80 pds x 6 reps + 2 super short reps

I QUIT!!

Smoking!! Just had my last ciggie, emptied the packet and now smoke free. Yeah, I know, was supposed to stop today but I overestimated how many I'd need to get me through and still had some left and had to finish them signalling closure. Bit like going on a diet, gotta eat that last chocolate out of the house before you start (lol). I'm pretty sure the Champix are working as from yesterday when the dosage was increased I started to feel nauseous after smoking, very tired and then last night had a weird dream and when I checked the side effects this morning these were all listed. Man, I'm really cleaning up my act.

All going well on every other front too. I commented to Liz today that when I'm on, I'm on. When I'm not, I'm just messy!

SLOPPY BUT STRONG!!

Warning! - It ain't pretty. Don't LOOK for perfect form, don't LISTEN for sweet sounds, just SEE muscle and strength. Dream on baby (LOL)!

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!

Round and round in circles I go! Happy one day, hating myself the next. Negative Ned was in my head all day Saturday. It was horrible. I tried hard not to listen and recognise that they were just thoughts but it was really hard to move on. We had a family outing to the beach yesterday which was gorgeous and looking around I noticed that I still look better than most women but that doesn't make me happy cause I know I can look better. So, again I'm putting my foot down and gonna get rid of the 4 or 5 kilos I don't want. I know slow and steady wins the race but fuck that, fast and furious will get me there sooner and then I can have another full on crack at the intuitive thing. So, I've resorted back to logging a bit and using scales to measure my progress. I don't know how else to do it! One day I hope to be free from this torment.

Upper Body Lift Heavy Shit Training

Wide Floor Press

- 40 kgs x 4 reps

- 40 kgs x 5 reps

Lat Pulldown

- 185 pds x 10 reps (short)

- 185 pds x 6 reps + 6 (short)

Smith Military Press

- 55 kgs x 2 reps

- 55 kgs x 3 reps + 3 partials

Barbell Curls

- 40 kgs x 6 reps

- 40 kgs x 6 reps

Tricep Press Down

- 50 pds x 20 reps

- 50 pds x 20 reps

THERE'S A SPRING IN MY STEP!!

How great is it to feel free? Free to do what I want any ol time.....

This morning started beautifully with a walk with Nicole then home for a gourmet breaky of 2 whole eggs, 1/2 a chicken thigh, and huge stirfry of veges. It was then over to Jinda's to train with Liz. One arm DB push press, powerband pull-up's, pushups, one arm dumbbell rows, cable external rotations and bosu side planks finished off with 10 mins on the elliptical before chowing down on a barramundi, prawn and vege stirfry with quinoa and rice spaghetti and a green tea. I then headed to the supermarket to get the ingredients I need as I've got a hankering for pancakes, Katie style. I'm feeling so empowered to be making these choices based on my gut feel, and wanting to eat so healthy. I think I might be turning into one of those people I used to refer to as a 'health freak'. I'm going organic whenever possible, not wanting to put toxins into my body (other than the ciggies at present). I haven't had pepsi max for 5 days now nor any form of artificial sweetener, additives, preservatives, etc. It's all good, wholesome food. On the smoking front I'm now onto day 5 day of taking Champix with my quit day set for next Tuesday. After Coles I went to the organic market and bought some more natural whey powder, some more quinoa & rice this time penne and a couple of organic spelt spinach & feta pies and an organic spelt chicken & vege pie. I have this exciting vision of being strong and lean through the choices I make with eating without counting calories, macros and forgetting numbers altogether. This will be super cool!! I'm off for a snoozy now before doing mummy duties at kids canteen this arvo then going to the movies tonight to see Inglorious Basterds (love Quentin films). Undecided as to whether I'll have a few vodies or not - that's not poison is it?

WORK IT BABEE - OUT!!

This is what it looks like under 320 kgs!

First up - going private blogging. I'm trying to work out what I want my life to be, how I want to live it and what I want to do to enjoy it and be happy. I don't want the smokescreen up here anymore so I can be really honest so that I have a record of my journey to look back at and I don't really care about the others anyway. It's only the people that I have invited to read that I care for. These are the people I'd like to share my life with, through the good times and the bad.

I'm no longer logging in CK. I don't want to live eating what it tells me and following it so anally. I'd like the freedom of choice and the satisfaction that comes with choosing to eat healthy but also allowing myself something no so healthy if I choose. Ultimately I want choice. And I want to nail the art of intuitive eating and mindfulness.

I went back to see Jeanelle yesterday who has been overseas for 6 weeks. I had gotten myself going mental and crying over everything before I went to see her. She said that sometimes when you have a break from therapy the anxiety builds when you are going back knowing that negative stuff is going to come up again. Once I left I was fine and back to my happy self as I had been for the past 5 days. I've got a 240 question online questionnaire to do when I can from which we'll discuss the result about what I can do to keep me occupied and take away the boredom cause at the moment I'm bored shitless left with too much time on my hands reading and thinking which doesn't do me any favours but yet I don't want to work either.

Lift Heavy Shit Lower Body Training

Rack Deadlifts again
- 120 kgs x 15 reps
- 130 kgs x 2 reps (spotted)

I was cactus after my first working set today and try as I might I had to get a slight spot in getting the 130 moving but 2 reps and I just couldn't do it.

Incline Leg Press
- 240 kgs x 20 reps
- 260 kgs x 20 reps
- 280 kgs x 12 reps
Then Matt says lets just do 300 for 6 but he lied:
- 320 kgs x 6 reps - I called him a bitch

Lying Leg Curl
- 70 pds x 10 reps - getting super short
- 70 pds x 10 reps - getting super short again

We videod me deadlifting so when it comes through I'll try and work out how to post it.

JUST FUCKING DO IT!!

It's nearly 9 am. I'm sitting here still in my pj's and ugg boots and procrastinating about today's training. I've taken the kids to school, done the household duties, emailed friends, anything to give me something else to do rather than train. Why?? Cause I know it's gonna be hard. Incline running intervals. I've gotta earn them oats afterwards. I'm gonna run like the wind. Pretend I'm the lion chasing the gazelle. The Biologic Cavewoman chasing her food. It's short, it's sharp. It'll be worth it. Only sprint session for the week. Just get off your arse, get your ginga, croppy and joggers on and go for it! What are you waiting for? Thata girl.

PEACE, LOVE, HEALTH & HAPPINESS!!

The four most important components of a strong, powerful, vibrant, energetic soul who is now known as "The Biologic Woman".

I HAVE THE POWER!!

Upper Body Lift Heavy Shit Training

Wide Floor Press
- 35 kgs x 10 reps + 1
- 35 kgs x 10 reps - died

Lat Pulldown
- 185 pd x 7 reps - really short
- 185 pd x 8 reps

Smith Military Press
- 50 kgs x 6 reps + 1 partial
- 50 kgs x 4 reps + 2 partials

Barbell Curl
- 38 kgs x 10 reps
- 38 kgs x 9 reps

Tricep Press Down
- 40 pds x 20 reps
- 40 pds x 30 reps

I've taken back the power and I am in control. I am choosing. Improving my strength, improving on my focus, improving on my health. All of which is improving my life.

THE FOOD ZEN!!

When we were kids we didn't understand or care about "nutrition" or diets or any of that stuff. Food was just food. You ate it at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Mum or someone else usually prepared it, and then you went off to play with your friends.

And then as we got older and learned a bit more about "nutrition" we started having issues and concerns with food.

Our relationship with food was probably best when we were kids.

Then, all of a sudden there were 'good' foods, 'bad' foods, specific ways and times to eat them.

Food stopped being food and became components and parts. There were good fats, bad fats, hi glycemic and low glycemic carbs, soluble and insoluble fibre, complete and incomplete proteins, organic vs regular, vegetarianism and on and on...

The more you stress about it the worse your relationship with food gets.

I was recently chatting to a very good friend of mine who said she'd written "it's just food for fuck sake". It was a reminding realisation for me. A Zen moment. Food is just that, food.

I hope one day all of this fussing and stressing over food just goes away for good and we can all get back to living our lives without food being a constant worry.

I'LL HAVE A CRACK AT IT!!

Lower Body Lift Heavy Shit Training

Rack Deadlifts

- 100 kgs x 20 reps

- 110 kgs x 15 reps

- 120 kgs x 7 reps

Incline Leg Press

- 180 kgs x 31 reps

- 220 kgs x 20 reps

- 260 kgs x 12 reps

Lying Leg Curl

- 60 pds x 15 reps (getting real short)

- 60 pds x 15 reps (getting real short)

I was apprehensive about how this morning's session would go after last week and now with a cranky shoulder but was willing to have a crack and see where I could go. And really pleased with how it all turned out. I did rack deadlifts rather than from the floor to take it easy on my back which was all good and not temperamental at all.

My day started out fabulously and was made even better when I got home from training by a surprise knock at the door from my beautiful bride, Nicole, who returned home from her honeymoon this morning. I wasn't sure when she was getting home but knew it was soon so was absolutely thrilled to have one of my besties back in real life again. Oh, and she didn't forget my Peanut Butter Ghirardelli chocolates. Those babies are gonna be savoured!!

DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!

Upper Body Heavy Shit Training

Bench Press

- 47 kgs x 3 reps + 4 partials

- 47 kgs x 6 partials

Lat Pulldown

- 170 pds x 10 reps

- 170 pds x 10 reps + 2

Smith Military Press

- 43 kgs x 10 reps

- 50 kgs x 3 reps

Barbell Curl

- 35 kgs x 10 reps

- 35 kgs x 12 reps

Floor Press

- 35 kgs x 5 reps + 5 air humps

- 37 kgs x 3 reps + 2

I'm getting far more out of these training sessions than just getting stronger. I'm learning not to sweat the small stuff, to relax, to chill, and to breathe.

I'm into my third week doing this style of training and eating accordingly. Not enough time to see that much change (fat loss or muscle growth) but as John Hussman says "You Really Do Change From the Inside Out". And although I'm not over the moon about my physique at the moment, the alternative is to cut my calories again, starve my body again, lower my metabolism again, lose lean mass again and the merry go round continues for as I long as I let it. I've been on it long enough and this is my chance to get off so I'm willing to persist and take each day as it comes. I have bad days where all I see is fat and feel like shit then like the flick of a switch I see all the good that is coming, like how fucking huge my muscles are (LOL), from everything I'm striving to achieve. Today is one of those days - hallelujah!

IT WON'T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT!!

But it WILL happen. Body Composition change taking place with patience, persistence and consistency and of course Faith.

THE BIG PICTURE!!

Keeping my eyes on the big picture and going against the noise in my head. This is a long term project not a short term solution.

ON THE LOOK OUT

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LIFE'S SIMPLE PLEASURES!!

Too often we see pleasure as a reward for a job well done or as an escape from a chaotic life. But it's a daily necessity, not a luxury. The key to living a wonderful life is "if it doesn't make you feel good, then don't do it anymore". When we give ourselves permission to do those things that make us feel good, life hands us more good. What if the key to living a good life is all about doing more of what brings us pleasure and less of what brings us pain? A good mood creates a positive flow that carries us through the day. We smile more. We see problems as challenges rather than as stumbling blocks. We feel a sense of resilience that makes it easy to bounce back from bad news. The solution is to give ourselves the gift of simple, daily pleasures that fuel good feelings. What makes you feel happy? What brings you pleasure? These activities aren't a luxury. Doing what we love keeps our life force well stoked.

Make a list. Right now. Write down 10 things that put a smile on your face - then commit to doing one every single day. Enjoy your daily pleasure ritual. Think of it as a once a day "happy vitamin". A dose of good that keeps you strong. As always, the power is in your hands.

JUST PICK THE FUCKER UP!!

FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK. Yes that's 5 FUCKS!!

Disappointment plus at today's session. I was psyched, pumped and focussed but as much as I wanted it and as hard as I tried it just wasn't going to happen. Not through my strength or weakness but my fucking middle back pulling just wouldn't allow it. I'm not injured or in pain but just tight as and when trying to lift muscles switched on rock hard and that weight wasn't going anyway - FUCK AGAIN!!

Deadlift

Warmup sets then:

100 kgs x 3 reps

105 kgs x couldn't get it up

A couple of lighter sets of straight leg deadlifts - nuh uh.

Incline Leg Press

160 kgs x 50 reps

200 kgs x 25.5 reps

240 kgs x 10 reps

280 x 6 partial reps

Lying Leg Curl

50 pds x 20 reps - getting short

50 pds x 20 reps - getting scary short (yelling/swearing)

60 pds x 10 reps - getting short again

Improvement from last week on the leg press and curls so for today - FUCK the deadlifts!!

FINGERS & EVERYTHING ELSE CROSSED!!

Today's target = Deadlift 95 kgs for 15 reps.

God, give me strength!

LOOKIN' GOOD TRAC!!

7 weeks out! Time to move and finish strong. A testing and challenging week coming up.

I've told Tracy to picture herself standing on that stage looking a million bucks through all the effort, determination and hard work she has put in.

This sport takes sheer guts, an overwhelming amount of mental energy. Mental energy to get through the head fucks, fear and frustration. Faced with challenges, overcoming obstacles, breaking barriers. Ending in triumph.

"The champion prevailed, though it was a hard fight"

FUCK I LOVE THE UNIVERSE!!

How is it Shelley, that with so many brilliant beings on your planet, so few recognize that when one's life encounters turbulence, choppy waters, or setbacks, it's always a sign that things are about to get wildly better than they've ever been before?

And I'm not talking about the dolphins.

Don't fight it,
The Universe

This is really, really good news, Shelley.

WHEN THE GOIN' GETS TOUGH

The TOUGH get goin'!!!

Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.

The End!

RHYTHM & ROCK!!

Lift Heavy Shit Upper Body Training

Bench Press

- 43 kgs x 7 reps

- 45 kgs x 6 reps

Lat Pulldown

- 160 pds x 16 reps

- 160 pds x 15 reps

Smith Military Press

- 40 kgs x 9 reps

- 40 kgs x 9 reps

Barbell Curl

- 30 kgs x 20 reps

- 33 kgs x 15 reps

Floor Press

- 35 kgs x 7 reps

- 35 kgs x 3 reps

I made a tough decision on Friday afternoon to stop training others and concentrate on spending more time with my family, mainly my young children whom over the past few months have been missing out on quality time with mummy. I had feelings of guilt and letting people down which I don't do easily but ultimately I have to put my family first. So, in light of this I had a mummy/daughter day on Saturday going to the movies, clothes shopping, then grocery shopping so little girl could come home and could her dad a 3 course dinner with only a little help from me. She loves cooking, loved Master Chef, and wants to be a Chef when she grows up. I told her she can be my personal chef just like the stars have. So in my world changes are taking place.

On the 100 day challenge front I think I should be a late scratching. Only because I don't know where I'm up to and really what I have to do to be actively involved. I'm challenging myself everyday on different fronts but possibly won't always blog about them. You could say this pirate has walked the plank, fallen overboard and is now on a deserted island with the ones who are most important to her - husband and children.

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